One of the games we decided to use for our movie was Final Fantasy X. I was really excited to play it, as I finished it last summer and really enjoyed it. When I received my rental copy in the mail, I was thoroughly disappointed to discover that that particular disc was unplayable.

My replacement arrived yesterday. I started it up and this disc worked just fine. I was thrilled to hear the familiar music and load a save. I was looking for particular gameplay moments, and set out to record a few simple scenes.

I had no trouble transporting my characters to the areas I needed and recording the sequences I wanted (mainly fight scene footage). However, I turned the game off right afterwards. Surprisingly, I had no interest in playing anymore, not even for old times’ sake. Why?

The reading this week gave me insight. Bernard Suits’ The Grasshopper described different types of rules in games and how following the rules is necessary to enjoy the game. The lusory attitude, which Suits defines as “where the rules are accepted just because they make possible such activity,” apply here. When playing the game, I went through ridiculously repetitive fights and spent a long time facing the same foes just so I could level up my characters. I accepted them as means to an end, much like the workers in The Grasshopper. Although I do enjoy a good slaying, I had spent so much time fighting these foes that it was no longer fun.

Also, it was in the context of a story or narrative. I really enjoy the stories in games. Once I had seen the ending, it was as if I had finally solved the mystery. Returning to a previous point in a complex RPG like this one only left me levels behind my satisfyingly high final-fight characters. There was nothing to be gained, so I turned it off.

So where does this leave me? If playing games has become a form of work, when do I play? Maybe play and work are interwoven more than most of us think. When I have a lot of free time in the summer, I go crazy if I don’t fill my time with books, movies, games, and projects. Even during the school year, I consider some projects (even assignments for class) to be a form of play, because I enjoy them. I am a person who thrives on business; my family tends to measure success based on tangible results. Perhaps I really am more of an Achiever type than I thought.