As a fan of single-player RPGs, I’ve grown accustomed to playing games alone. I try to avoid contacting other people online unless I absolutely need their help. I recently began playing Lord of the Rings Online (LotRO), a game which has required me to have a few crash courses in MMO etiquette.

One common practice while grouping (or joining a “Fellowship” in LotRO), is the use of voice chat. My fingers are often busy pressing keys to use skills and such while I play, so pausing to type in a chat window can sometimes be impractical. For example, if my character was dying and in need of immediate assistance, I could shout “Heal Me!” about 10 seconds faster than I could type it. Voice chat can be the difference between success and failure or life and death.

I was not opposed to the idea of voice chat with strangers, despite the inevitable break in characterization. On an early fellowship quest, I was disoriented when this deep male voice came from a delicate, lovely female elf. I understand that it is unlikely that many of the female characters are actually belong to female players, and you can’t make assumptions. Soon, I got my voice chat working and jumped in.

I greeted my group in my high-pitched girl voice and assumed that they would figure out that I was a girl. Unfortunately, it seemed more likely that I was a 10-year-old boy, as I soon discovered when these guys described me as a “him”. I quickly explained that I actually was a woman, not a pre-pubescent child. The guys laughed uncomfortably and mumbled something about not wanting to assume. I guess that they had made the safer choice – it’s less embarrassing for a woman to be called a boy than it is for a boy to be called a woman. Statistically, they were also probably making a safer assumption in calling me a male.

I was glad that my fellowship treated me no differently once they found out my true gender. There was always a chance that I was lying, but it seems like most of the LotRO audience is more mature and respectful than the average MMO crowd. Hearing their voices did seem jarring at times and broke their character, but I feel like the advantages often outweigh the disadvantages. After all, I was only allied with this fellowship for a short period of time. Also, despite how silly someone’s voice can seem compared to their character, sometimes they can be very knowledgeable and helpful regarding the details of the game. If anything, hearing the voices of my fellow players showed me that I can’t judge by appearances, and even our voices can be a type of mask.